Christmas Stockings

Some things in life are meant to be. And when you know that…it is such a great feeling. Whether life’s turn of events were expected or not, you learn to accept or reject and then make the most of it. William James said, “The greatest discovery of my generation is that a human being can alter his life by altering his attitudes.”

My cousin recently posted an entry on her blog about her "opportunity" of infertility. I know they have struggled, but that doesn’t lessen her positive outlook she has chosen to take. I respect her determination to never give up. And being that we are related, I’m going to credit that strength to our grandparents, Dave and Arlene Bishop. They definitely taught their posterity to be hard workers, be positive, serve the Lord, and never give up!

What I marvel at is that Heavenly Father can teach us so many similar lessons in so many different ways. Our particular “opportunity” shows up in a direct polar opposite. FERTILITY!!! That’s right…let your mind wander and your eyes read faster. We are expecting baby #5 September 4, 2010. Just 15 months after Jake was born. I can’t even TRY to hide this baby. I barely got back to my pre-pregancy weight and fitting a few of my old jeans only to find they didn’t fit the following week. Actually, hiding this one may be the easiest of them all. Everyone can muse that I “just” HAD a baby and my belly should look like that, but I like sharing the excitement that our family is growing.

To answer the looming question…yes, we were trying - that is, after we had the initial wakeup call a couple months ago. We have planned on another child, and thought we would wait longer, but after a series of events, we opted to get the show on the road. We are anxious to have our family complete. Although, I am overwhelmed by the idea of another pregnancy and another child. Many days I feel like I am barely surviving as it is. I have equated the calling of motherhood to one of those church callings that you shake your head and think, "Heavenly Father got this wrong. I am not the person for the job. I can't possibly do what He's asking of me." And yet, as a member of the Church of Jesus Christ of Latter Day Saints, we are reassured that God will qualify us to do His work. If we are on His errand, we are entitled to His help. I know I am on God's errand. Left to my own carnal will and desires, our family would have been complete years ago.

It's funny how in the same instant I am scared to death, my heart is full. I couldn’t be happier that we have another little one on the way. My kids are so fun and cute that who wouldn’t want more of them. (Please call me on this when I’m cursing the sight of another diaper, another ruined piece of furniture, another school project, or another child that doesn’t listen to a word I say.)

On Christmas morning, the family found the extra stocking I had set up with the pregnancy test poking out of the top. Of course then I had to explain to my kids what a pregnancy test was. They were disgusted and fascinated at the same time. Later in the day Corbin asked me if I was having triplets. I had to laugh. I told him no. He asked, “twins?” I told him I thought there was only one baby, but would not know for sure until I went to the doctor. He thoughtfully asked, “Would the stick know?”



Truth be told, it’s a miracle we are pregnant, but it’s my feeling that’s what Kate was looking for. A miracle.

I have had several dreams, but until any one of them comes to fruition, it’s hard to trust what’s imaginative and what is inspiration. Kate is a darling little spirit that has been a part of our family for the past 2 ½ years. I have had experience after experience to confirm she is real and can hardly wait to meet her in person. She has become a constant thought and I have already created space for her in our home.

Some question, what if you are not pregnant with a girl? Well then, I return to my opening statement. Some things in life are meant to be. Maybe ALL things are “meant” to be. If we have a boy, he's in great company. But I'm going to need some suggestions for "K" names. :)